The group is hiding in a bar as a dozen orcs surround the building.

Blue (OC): "I relay the copious amounts of orcs surrounding the building to the party."

Slade (OC): "You just get back a text saying 'That's a lot of orcs'"

Slade finds out that it's possible to change his appearance in the virtual conference room and makes himself look like a normal ork.

Slade (IC): "They did say this was for anonymity, and it IS hard to be anonymous when you're glowing blue."

Lazarus (OC): "I make myself look like mayor Krass."

*Laughter*

Lazarus (OC): "I think better of it and turn into Richard Nixon."

Blue (OC): "I matrix search to find Nixon's vice president and turn into him."

The party was put into a hyper-realistic matrix room to meet an employer. Lazarus decided to try destroy the table in the middle and was surprised to have his attack do absolutely nothing. Right as Slade is added to the channel and walks in the room:



Lazarus (IC): "Blue, slap me... lightly!"

Blue (OC): "I punch him in the face as hard as I can"

*Nothing happens*

Slade (IC): "I mean... I can try punching you if you like."

After looking at his skills a little more:
Lazarus (IC): "I have an 8 in unarmed combat. That means I have the equivalent of a PhD in punching things."

GM: "You do indeed find the driver dead behind the wheel."
Lazarus: "Thankfully!"
*Silence*
Lazarus: "What? At least he isn't shooting at us!"

...and after a while, Lazarus asks

Lazarus: "What's he been rolling for by the way?"
GM: "Oh. To resist the airborn toxin to not see you guys turn into canaries. He's terrified of canaries."
Lazarus: "Oh right... I forgot that he had to deal with that as an NPC."

After Slade started seeing his friends turning into turrets due to poison gas, Lazarus "Convinced" him to get into the Hazmat suit. After the drugs had worn down:

Slade: "When did I get into this suit?"
Lazarus: "When I told you to. Don't take it off. Are you still remaining calm? Deep breaths."
Slade: "Alright.... deep breaths...."
*Goes to remove helmet to breathe better....*

The GM asked everyone for a quick body + toxin resist roll. Slade managed to get a critical glitch.

GM: "For no particular reason, what does your character dislike the most?"
Slade: "I really don't know.... he hates guns. Beyond that, I'm really not sure?"
GM: "Alright, I can work with that. You feel this weird chill roll down your back, and as you look around, you notice that Blue and Lazarus are starting to morph into turrets...."
Slade: "Oh gosh... this is bad. I'm starting to reach for my swords....."

Upon finding a town that had all commlinks and video cameras smashed.
Slade (OC): "I bet we find zombies."
Lazarus (OC): "Nah, probably survivors."
Slade (OC): "Survivors or a zombie apocalyse... they're zombies either way!"

Oni with the ability to apply alchemical preparations to swords, lop people's limbs off, and cast crazy magic upon hearing about some poison gas:
Slade (IC): "Maybe it's a weapon??"
Slade (OC): "I start looking extremely nervous."

Blue (OC): "Blue just starts drinking heavily as soon as we stop the car."
Slade (OC): "Is that because of me, or because of how the job went?"
Blue (OC): "Yes"

After Blue and Slade did several things leading to some chaos that the GM did not expect:

GM (OC): "You know.... I think I need a loading screen for my brain sometimes."

Blue managed to get a commlink from a guard (Evan) and decided to pin all blame for the system failure on him.

Blue (IC): "You obviously connected in to this, you have a virus on your commlink! The logs show you as logging in just half an hour ago!"
GM (IC): "What? No! I haven't been in the system all day! It must have been one of them technomancers!"
Slade (OC): "Bah.... Blaming a technomancer. The oldest excuse in the book."

Blue managed to social engineer her way into the security station by claiming to be IT. During this time everyone immediately bought her story, regaled her with countless stories about how things are always acting up, pestered her with questions about what the problem is, and gave her credentials to log into the system as admin (1234).

Slade (OC): "Stop taking real life examples... we PLAY these games to escape from real life!"
GM (OC): "This ISN'T real life... it's a parody of what usually happens."
Slade (OC): "But... isn't this just normal everyday stuff that happens?"
GM (OC): "Yes.... just taken to the extreme."

Blue managed to blow up the security system of a small mansion. Smoke was pouring out the windows, security guards were annoyed, and then one of the got a bright idea.
GM (As security guard): "Someone get IT!"
Blue (IC): "So I have an idea....."
GM (OC): "I immediately regret saying that."

When asked to lick a sword that has become a touch alchemical trigger:

Slade (IC): "Do you have ANY idea how bad of an idea that is??"

Blue (IC): "So what are we going to do about this Darrick guy?""
Slade (IC) "Live and let live?"
*Dead silence*
Slade (IC): "Apparently that is a bad idea?"

Slade (IC): "They have turrets!"

Lazarus (IC): "How many turrets?"

Slade (IC): "Many! More than enough!"

Lazarus (IC): "Surely you can count."

Slade (IC): "Explosives would get us into the building..."

Everyone (IC): "NO!"

Slade (IC): "I call shotgun!"

Lazarus (IC): "Any long range weapon of any design?"

Slade (IC): "I have throwing knives!"

Lazarus (IC): "How about you blue?"

Blue (IC): "No no no, I don't carry a gun."

Lazarus (IC): "Well then, as the only one with a gun, being the person in "shotgun" is MY duty."