Zerk realized that purchases of credsticks could be traced, and he has a strangely pertinent question.


Zerk: "Wait.. how do I delete my Credstick history?"

Piece: "You can't"

There's an Urban Brawl game on, Seattle vs. Chicago, and several people in the area are getting rowdy.


GM (As fanatic brawler fan): "Go Seattle! Woo! Take down the Chicago ducks!"

Zerk: "Go Seattle! This is great!"

Zerk (OC): "I'm going to punch this guy in the face for being so loud"

*Zerk rolls too many dice, plenty of hits*

GM (As fanatic brawler): "You hit me, but I agree with you! Party!"

Piece is contacting her arms dealer, a short Chinese lady who gets very possessive and angry whenever someone buys armor from anyone besides herself. She spends a minute chewing out Piece before getting to business.


GM (As Arms Dealer):When you need black market stuff, you come me! You get shoddy knock off stuff from person on street, how do you know APDS is any good? It might not be APDS! It could blow up in face! Arms dealah all over the place try to give knock off product to everyone! Why would you even get APDS from anywhere else?

Piece: I know, I know, but it was for a job. And now that I've tried some, I'm hooked. Go ahead and upcharge me on it. How much you got?

Piece has just finished some awesome sniping and is feeling very satisfied.


Piece: "Piece is going to take a minute, stand up, and grin at her gun"

Piece (To her gun): "I knew there was a reason I loved you."

Zerk, driving a getaway semi with one arm while holding a human hostage outside the door with another decides it would be beneficial to bring the human into the cabin of the semi. That would let him focus a bit more on driving. He rolls to get the hostage into the cab and fails, hearing a crunching sound. The hostage lets out a scream as a bone breaks. Zerk tries once more and gets him in the cab.


GM: "He flops on the seat and cradles his broken shoulder."

Zerk (OC): "Good news! I think that's a moderate wound if he tries to do anything."

Piece (OC): "How's that good news?

Zerk (OC): "His threshold to resist will be higher!"

The GM, being helpful, pointed out that you CAN do two simple actions in a single turn. This made a world of difference for Piece, who was lining up some sniping shots. The following exchange occured.


GM: "Wait a minute, I'm the GM, I shouldn't be helping the players!"

Zerk: "It is a little more efficient this way"

Piece: "Yeah, I get to shoot some more people this way too!"

GM: "But those are MY guys you're shooting..."

Zerk needed a semi truck to stop, and it kinda sorta refused to. He knocked the guy out in retaliation and threw him in the dumpster. Feigning ignorance, he calls his partner in crime.


Zerk: "Can you believe that someone left this truck in the middle of the road?"

Piece: "Seeing as I know you, yes."

Zerk: "We must do our civic duty and remove it from the area!"

Piece: "Of course we should. This convenient truck might even help us get this extraction done with."

Zerk has just lined up his first job through the Shadowland BBS. After a little bit of digging on the data slate, he noticed a discrepancy.


Zerk: "So... the guy who handed us this data slate to us said he was working for Renraku, but the messages on this are from Shiawase."

Piece: "Does it matter?"

Zerk: "Who am I gonna piss off if I do this job, and the answer is Yes."

After Zerk ended up adopting a hellhound that was attempting to attack him...


Zerk: "Why is it every time you introduce hellhounds into the game, we end up adopting them?"

GM: "Hey, that's your fault. I tried to get you guys to kill these ones."

Zerk has been breaking through walls, and Piece has just encountered a locked door. The GM is pretty sure he knows what's up, but it never hurts to be safe.


Zerk: "Don't worry Piece, I'll be right there to unlock it"

GM: "I'm pretty sure I know what you mean by 'unlock', but just to make sure, you mean 'break it', right?"

Zerk: "Yup!"

Zerk decides to break through a wall to get to the objective faster. As he does, he decides to shout out a bastardized catchphrase.


Zerk, breaking through a wall: "Have no fear, for Oh YEAH, I am here!"

Piece was just talking to the ugliest elf she'd ever seen. He was acting all suspicious like, and creepily mentioned he'd see her around.


Piece: "Hey Zerk, watch out for an ugly, bald elf!"

Zerk: "There's such a thing as elves that AREN'T ugly?"

Zerk thinks for a moment

Zerk: "Wait wait... I'll be joining the gender neutral collective, I need to start showing some care in how I speak about other metahumans.

The GM is giving an impassioned speech by a Universal Brotherhood zealot to Zerk.


GM (As UB zelot): "The Universal brotherhood is a family encompassing ALL metahumans, sexes, and sexualities. We all strive to be the very best we can to live more..."

Zerk cuts him off

Zerk: "Excuse me, If it encompasses all genders, sexes, sexualities, why is it the brotherhood? shouldn't it be the gender-neutral collective?"

Zerk is walking with some Halloweeners who are leading him to their boss. Getting closer to the hideout, there are some artistic piles of trash laying around here. The person leading points out several that he made.


GM (As ganger): "You see that one? I made it. The juxtaposition of the nerps wrappers and the soykaf cups had to be balanced just right on the forks."

Zerk: "Your medium reflects you as an artist."

The GM starts off the narration to the campaign detailing how a guy who died is dialing for revenge from beyond the grave. Eventually, the reason for contacting Zerk specifically comes up.


GM (As Sam): "I made a list of everyone who would care, and you were at the top of the list!"

Zerk: "Must be a short list!"

GM (As Sam): "You were also the only one on the list."

The GM was planning some encounters and trying to keep the danger level from spiraling out of control.


GM: "I think I'll just grab all of the strongest weapons I can find and make these their weapons"

Piece: "Are you hoping to kill us??"

GM: "Well... not hoping to. That's not the word. No, you're right, that IS the word."

After needing to drop of an Aztech scientist to her (probably) certain demise, Piece was feeling a little blue. The GM and Zerk needed to explain to Piece how good and evil works in Shadowrun.


GM: "Other systems like DND have a nice alignment chart of good, evil, lawful, good, etc. Shadowrun has evil and shades of grey."

Zerk: "There's puppy stomping evil, and then there's actual evil"

Piece: "Please don't make me don't me do any puppy stomping evil"

GM: "So.... kitten stomping is ok?"

Piece: "...I hate you!"

The players might have kinda sorta caused an incident at a Shiawase location, and needed some backup. They contact their fixer and see if anyone is around who is equipped to handle plan Z (AKA: Walk in the front door and shoot everything)



GM: "Your fixer let you know that there was a guy waiting at Grillby's if you needed additional help."



Piece: "We go to pick him up!"



Zerk: "Knowing that I'm looking for someone who's equipped to handle plan Z, I walk in and look for the ugliest mother-fucker here"



GM: "You find him"

Zerk has just been confronted by a guard about his desire to enter an authorized area.

Guard: "Sir, let me see your badge."

*Zerk hands over the id badge of a guard he killed just outside the door*

Zerk: "Here you go."

Guard: "Sir, this is Timmy's badge, Timmy's dead!"

Zerk: "Yes he is, and with his dying breath he told me that he wanted me to have that badge. Timmy gave his life to protect mine and all I have now to remember him by is that badge"

*A single Troll tear falls down Zerk's cheek*

Guard: "Sir, you need to leave."

Piece is a bit new to Shadowrun. The GM and Zerk try to explain how planning is done and plans executed.


GM: "There are a lot of plans that you can go with in Shadowrun. There's plan A where you try to sneak in, plan B where you try talk your way in, plan C where you try to hack the cameras.... and there's plans all the way down to plan Z: Walk in the front door and shoot everything."

Zerk: "Most Shadowrunners skip plans A through Y and go straight to plan Z."

Piece: "Well there's gotta be a better way to get inside. What's your plan?"

Zerk: "Well, I have a few ideas... but they all involve plan Z...."