The GM makes a random roll. Smokes sounds quite apprehensive.


Smokes: "Uh oh... he's rolling something."

Doe: "I presume that wasn't rolling for stupidity."

GM: "Actually, that kinda was."

Doe's fixer, Terry, has managed to convince Doe that he needs an Accountant to help manage his money so he can make rent at the end of the month.


GM (As Terry): "It sounds like he might need some help, so you might be able to hire him a little cheaper."
Doe: "That sounds fabulous Terry, thank you! Maybe I can just hire him outright, I've been thinking of starting a business."
GM: "You start a business? What would you be, an ANTI-accountant?"
Doe: "A lawyer, so close enough."

After the session, the players go through their money and decide what they want for equipment or other luxuries. Doe has purchased a top hat and sword cane.


GM: "I have a question about your Matrix avatar. Does he also have a top hat and sword cane?"

Doe: "You know what, he does now."

Smokes: "Oh dear God..."

Doe wants to spend some money on a cane sword despite the fact that he has no edged weapon skill. Smokes thinks this is a terrible idea.


Smokes: "A cane sword can be useful... if you know how to use it!"

Doe: "I do know how to use it, I know how to make myself look fabulous with it!"

*Everyone groans*

Smokes is having a hard time after the Johnson left with some choice words for Smokes.


Smokes "He started it, he got personal! Him.... with his dwarveshness."

GM: "What pissed you off more, the fact that he's a dwarf, or that he got to you?"

Smokes: "Yes"

Smokes, annoyed at having to deal with a dwarf, has taken to interrogating the Johnson after the run.


Smokes: "Based on the file, we know he worked for Yamatetsu, then got pulled to Ares. I know you know him, so what's your relationship to him?"

GM (As Johnson): "I see those detective skills are why they had you as a detective.... I also see why they had you fired."

Smokes: "Listen up, I ask the questions here, you answer them!"

*Mr. Johnson stands up and prepares to leave*

GM (As Johnson): "No, I don't think that's how this works. Good bye."

After giving Smokes a hard time, the following conversation was overheard.


Smokes: "You can kiss my ass!"

Doe: "That's probably not the best thing to say, he might do it."

GM: "Hold on, I'll be right back!"

Smokes pops a soda can open IRL and gets a cut


Smokes (OC): "Ow! That cut me! I think that's a light wound from a soda can."

GM: "Sounds like a critical glitch to me."

Doe and Smokes are heading off to a run location. Doe hops in the truck and prepares to drive off.


Doe: "I jack in and drive off"

GM: "As opposed to jack off and drive in"

Smokes: "I didn't need that image"

GM: "I mean wheels did both"

Smokes: "I didn't need to know that either!"

Smokes has commandeered Tank's car and driven it through a wall into an open warehouse. As she breaks through, she decides that some mimicry of other epic moments are in order.

Smokes: "OH YEAH!!"

In session 0, the GM allowed the players to play with heavy weaponry. Tank decided to bring an assault cannon to see what would happen. The GM decided to bring out some heavy weapons, heavy security armor, and missiles in response to see how much damage the players and enemies would be able to take. Tank died in one shot.


Smokes: "Dang, you're mean!"

GM: "Yeah, I am"

Tank: "To be fair... I started it."

Doe heard a shotgun cock through a laser microphone, panicked, and proceeded to fire upon the shotgun user blindly from 100 meters away. Not only did he hit the guy twice, he also alerted any enemies in the area to their presence.


Smokes (annoyed): "Well, seeing as it's now war, I'm kicking the door in."

Doe: "Come on, they started it! I just shot them back first."

Piece has been dropped to dying due to questionable choices. After getting her patched up and into a hospital (a real one), she has these words of wisdom for future shadowrunners.


Piece: "Don't open fire on a crowd... it's not worth it."

Rocin has brought in Nova, a dwarf, to temporarily take over for Zerk, a troll, while Zerk rests up from a gunshot.


Zerk (OC): "Zerk and Nova have a shouting match while Zerk catches Nova up to speed."

Piece (OC): "Does Nova have to shout to get Zerk to hear him or something?"

GM: "Presumably because of the height difference..."

Zerk: "I imagine that Zerk is just squatting on the floor."

The players have been rushing through a very dilapidated medical facility in search of the dr. Holmes, who they are convinced is the emerald city ripper. As they break through a door, there's a surprise waiting on the other size.


GM: "Standing there is a really not-mentally stable looking troll."

Zerk: "Am I looking into a mirror?"

GM: "No, he's wielding an ax and charging at you."

After the decking debacle where the players and GM had used up 30 minutes of their 3 second round, jokes started to break out about trying out new things.


GM (OC): "Maybe we shouldn't try out new things..."

Zerk (OC): "Nah, it's fine. We had to learn this anyways"

GM (OC): "Maybe I'll try out something else I read about next session... It had a strange acronym. T-P-k I think?"

Zerk (OC): "I'm sure that's highly effective!"

Piece (OC, to Zerk): "Why does the GM hate us?"

The GM had never ran any matrix combat before, and figuring out the rules is rough sometimes.


GM (OC): "Man, those 3 seconds of combat felt like they took a good 30 minutes"

Piece (OC): "At least the next one won't"

GM (OC): "I can just imagine this entire book searching happening in front of some actual guards..."

Zerk (OC): "Yeah, we'd be standing there and shouting 'I want to hit you, but what am I hitting you with??'"

Piece (OC): "And how hard?"

GM (As theoretical guards): "Guys... cmon... just attack us already."

Zerk (Ignoring the GM): "We can hit them with a skill, I think!"

Piece: "Yeah, we can roll with that... but maybe we should double check..."

Ms. Kuboda has prepared a meal that includes REAL sausages. Zerk grabbed as many of them as he could and began stuffing them in his mouth.


Piece: "This must be some of that 'graceful troll eating' I've heard about."

Zerk(IC): "I... mmm *nom nom nom* ver *munch* good *crunch*."

Piece: "Graceful troll eating indeed!"

Zerk is rudely interrupted by a phone call in the middle of his beauty sleep, and it turns out that he needs to go check something out.


Zerk (OC): "I go to wake up Piece so we can get going on this"

GM (OC): "I thought Piece hated being woken up early..."

Zerk (OC): "Good point! I put on my armor jacket and then go wake up Piece"

The GM decided to introduce a random beer named "The basic bitch". It is a beer with a little pumpkin spice in it.


Piece: "Fine, I'll take one. But I swear, if you give me any pumpkin spice, I'll murder you."

GM (As bartender): "Alright, I'll make one of each."

Piece (OC): "I'm giving the one with pumpkin spice to Zerk"

Zerk: "Oooh, a basic bitch! I can get white human wasted"