Morphine (a dwarf) is trying to sell devil-rat liver oil to suc... er... customers. Unfortunately, mall security appears to be on top of things and swoops in to smash up his stall.

Morphine (a dwarf): "Hey, I'm a troll baby! This is discrimination against trolls!"

GM (as random passersby): "A troll? I mean... he IS ugly enough for it..."

A table full of orks and trolls. A few humans. A single dwarf.

GM (As the leader, Praetor): "The Jackals have something of ours, well... it's theirs, but it'll be ours soon."

Praetor looks seriously at the dwarf.

GM (Praetor): "And that's where you come in. We need YOU to be a distr... er... forward assault team!"

The players are breaking into a castle, and the GM is trying to figure out where they're going to come out. He makes the classic mistake of rolling for what room they enter.

GM: "Alright, looking up, you can see a window opened. You make your way towards it and climb on in. You find yourself in..."
GM: *Rolls Dice and checks map*
GM: A cleaning closet. So the smell of bleach and cleaning chemicals fills the air. And... wait... a second..."
GM: *Reads the section a little more carefully*
GM: "I misread this. You didn't come out into a cleaning closet, you came out into the security center for the entire castle."
Krieger (OC): We failed upwards this whole time!

Krieger and Applejack are trying to decide how to get out of the castle once they break in.

Krieger: "I brought some elementals."
Applejack: "And I brought my gun!"
Krieger: "Ah yes... we're saved..."
Applejack: "What? If someone start's shooting at me, I'm shooting back!"

Upon seeing a horse-drawn carriage show up to escort him to a tourist attraction.

Krieger: "Ah, yes... 18th century rigging technology!"

Having encountered some odd, brightly colored rain, the players are trying to decide if they were in the middle of a manastorm or not. Applejack, thinking that manastorms are good for mages, has some questions.

Applejack: "Doesn't it boost your spells?"
Krieger: "It can..."
Applejack: "Why wouldn't you want that? Won't it make us stronger overall?"
Krieger: "It could, but it's just as likely to cause horrible problems. Imagine strapping a bomb to the back of your car. It COULD make your car go faster, but it's just as likely to destroy you. Would you still do that?"
Applejack: "Well... yeah. It'd get us there faster!"
Krieger: "You're crazy..."

Kati has summoned his butler into his study. While Kati can't eat the food Victor brought in due to his vampirism, he tells Krieger to go on ahead and dig in.

GM (As Kati): "It's a bit of a shame really. I do miss cheese sometimes, it really was one of my favorites. Unfortunately, I just get sick when I try..."

Krieger: "Becoming a vampire makes you lactose intolerant?? How horrible! A weird side-effect, but...."

Krieger (OC): "He does his best to look restrained as he digs in."

As he does so, Kati chuckles about the misunderstanding.

After Krieger receives a message from a vampire that was delivered by a free spirit, he has a valid question.

Krieger (OC): "I'm pretty sure that he has my commlink number, why didn't he just call?"

GM (OC): "You expect a vampire to use the telephone??"

Krieger (OC): "This IS *checks calendar* 2061 after all..."

Tank decides to take his assault cannon out for a friendly neighborhood walk. Unfortunately, Lonestar, in the form of an ork officer with a new human recruit, notice him. They immediately pull over to the side of the road and come up to Tank.

GM (Ork): "Pop quiz, newbie, what's wrong with this picture?"

The human recruit looks over Tank. Tank is currently towering over the pair, and standing at attention, has his assault canon held across his chest, wearing an ill-fitting assortment of clothing, and smiling gleefully.

GM (Human): "Is... is it the assault cannon?"

GM: "Yes recruit! Yes! It's the bloody assault canon!"

Tank has been given a job that requires thinking. This is NOT his forte. He reads through the files and comes up with a plan.

Tank (OC): "Alright, as he's reading through this, Tank has an idea..."

GM: "Oh God, this is going to end up in one of those 'top 10 things that ended in disaster' lists, isn't it?"

Tank (OC): "Of course not! You see, he figures if they gave out the address so publicly, then he might be able to grab someone who is watching the house and shake some info from them."

GM: "You're thinking of shaking down a group of shadowrunnners?"

Tank (OC): "I see no problems with this!"

Krieger has discovered a watcher following Applejack after she was out gift shopping in Muchmaussen. He wrests control of it and tells it to go back to it's original summoner. He ends up having a little chat with the summoner and politely asks her not to do it again. After he gets back, he and Applejack talk about what happened.

Kreiger: "Alright, so I asked her nicely not to do that again. We should be good."

Applejack: "What was the watcher going to report anyways?"

Kreiger: "Oh... I don't know. What were you doing? It was following you."

Applejack (happily): "I was SHOPPING!"

Kreiger: "I just painted a target on our backs, didn't I?"

Applejack is out gift shopping in the tiny, picturesque town of Muchmaussen.

Applejack (OC): "I'm going to go find something for Shaun..."
GM (OC): "You know those posters of motorcycles with scantily clad women? You find one of those, except the motorcycle is a horse-drawn wagon. The woman is wearing lederhosen and a green, plaid skirt."
Applejack (OC): "Shaun would hate it... I buy it immediately!"

As the game is progressing, Twinkletoes and Smokes are meeting a Lonestar officer in a restaurant. Smoke's player looks outside and gets excited.

Smokes (OC): "Hey, it's snowing outside!"

Twinkletoes (IC): "No it's not, it's the middle of July!"

Smokes (OC): "Shut up, you know what I mean!"

After getting on a trans-orbital to Berlin that dips briefly into space, Krieger spots a small ork child making his way down the aisle glancing around at "all the pretty colors and the talking wolf". His behavior, and the look on his face, makes it clear the child is experiencing the awakening of his latent magical abilities and is perceiving astrally, even if he doesn't yet understand or can control it.
The frustrated mother accompanying the child refuses to believe this is anything more than make believe on his part.

Shortly after take off and upon reaching low-earth orbit, the child, still astrally perceiving, learns the hard way about the dangers of magic and space and begins screaming. As soon as he is able Krieger rushes over with a med kit to check on the child.

Kriger: "Excuse me, I am a doctor, your child was screaming rather loud and I wish to make sure that he is not injured."

Mother: "Oh he's fine he just has an over-active imagination. He keeps telling me about all these things he's seeing like pretty colors, talking wolves, dragons in disguise... such nonsense!"

Shortly after a fight breaks out and Krieger ends up frying one of the attackers with an over-charged stun bolt, nearly killing him.

Mother *Startled by the attack and the stunned attackers floating overhead*: "What was that? What happened to him?"

Krieger: "Oh him? He just has an over-active imagination and was pretending he had about 30,000 volts going through him."

Having fortified their defensible area, Applejack and Kreiger are waiting for an attack they're expecting. A fog rolls in, and Kreiger is getting life signs off of it when he checks it in the astral. He goes to whack it with his sword, missing. The GM decides it's time for a joke.

GM: "Did you hear about the guy who tried to hit some fog?"
GM: "He Mist!"

*Several seconds of silence*

Kreiger (OC): "You know what, just for that, I"m going to swing again with my combat pool, and this time I won't."

Kreiger is searching for a group of trolls to lift a van over a concrete barrier. He comes across a firestation nearby where 16 trolls are somehow unloading themselves from the firetruck. They agree to help move the van, and all pile back into the firetruck (somehow).

When they arrive, they notice that Applejack is watching them *very* intently. Taking this as a good thing, they proceed to flirt with her.

One troll picks up the waifish elf and puts her ontop of the van.

Troll (GM): "Just gotta keep you out of the way little lady, it's no trouble, no trouble at all."

Applejack squeaks, then blushes. The troll, amused by this, does his best to take off his shirt in a sultry manner. Applejack turns violently red as the troll winks at her. The troll chuckles and hands her a business card.

Troll (GM): "Call me"

Kreiger and Applejack have captured a vampire's pawn and just finished knocking him back unconscious after a brief interrogation. Applejack is worried about a retaliatory strike.


Applejack: "They're vampires, Kreiger, I'm sure they have some nefarious plan already in motion! They're devious..."

GM: "And let's take a moment to cut back to the vampires in their accounts meeting."

GM (As Head Accountant Vampire): "As you can see by the numbers, we've been consistently losing revenue these past two quarters. Our recent partnership with 'W' has helped increase our numbers and control slightly, but it's likely not enough. It appears that we may need to find alternative methods of revenue..."

Kreiger (OC): "Really? That's what that meeting was about? And where are their thralls? On their way over here already? Hold on..."

Kreiger, worriedly: "Applejack, could you go take a look around outside?"

GM: "Damn! Here I was hoping to surprise you."

Krieger has asked Applejack to come along on a job.

Applejack: "Where are we going?"
Krieger: "Remember that house that blew up?"
*Applejack's face pales*
Krieger: "We're going to go see a guy. We'll be fine!"

Zerk has started ranting at Sleeze since he's had a pretty bad day. Sleeze has been trying to get high with some Novacoke in a bong.

Zerk: "So they had this chair named Mildred that I decapitated, and a little robot named Charles that I used to break down a door..."

GM: "Sleeze is looking at you trying to figure out if the drugs are starting to work."

Zerk: "And then he named the table George when I said I didn't want to break things that were named..."

GM: "Yep, he's definitely looking back and forth between the bong, the novacoke, and you with a look of fascination on his face."

Zerk has a dataslate for Sleeze to look over. He walks in the bar, ignores the patrons and barman, and heads directly back to Sleeze.

Zerk: "I walk in and throw the data slate to Sleeze, looking angry as heck due to the day he's had."

Smokes (providing commentary, not playing): "Be nice to Sleeze! Let him shoot novacoke in peace!"

GM: "He's actually trying something new this time. As you walk in, he's putting novacoke in a bong..."

Zerk, Laughing (OC) "That just seems like a waste!"