Kringle, a professional santa lookalike and shadowrunner, is meeting up with Applejack. After introductions, he pulls out a dataslate and asks an important question.

Kringle: "Are you on the naughty or nice list this year?"

Applejack: "You know... I'm not actually sure right now..."

Kringle: "Tell you what, let's go steal some stuff from the people on the naughty list..."

While walking up the stairwell that a Cyberzombie had to mangle greatly in order to walk up, Krieger looks at the damage. He looks at Applejack, and doesn't say what he's thinking for fear of being shot.

Krieger (mentally): "Maybe.... just maybe Zerk did the right thing. That would have caused a lot of problems had it not been stopped..."

Applejack (OC): "Applejack simply proceeds up the stairwell wordlessly."

Applejack, pissed off, sad, and wanting to get revenge on winternight for having killed Zerk (via Cyberzombie fall), decides to drive right up next to a group of people who are talking next to the cyberzombie and open fire with two ingram valiants at full auto within a 3 meter area.

GM: "You know, I'm pretty sure, although you guys can correct me on this, that filling up a 3m area with 30 bullets over .5 seconds is deadly, but, the important question is.... how deadly?"

The damage code ended up being 21D. The group of winternight operatives did *not* survive.

Applejack and Zerk are on a stakeout, waiting for some Winternight operatives to make their move. Their move is indeed made when they hear a van pull up next to their stakeout location. Applejack jumps into her truck to get a look at what's going on.

GM: "You turn your truck towards where they parked. You notice a very familiar, white, unmarked van."

Zerk (OC): "Oh no... shoot it! Shoot it!"

GM: "You have a jolt of memory when you recall the last time you saw this van. As you picture the cyberzombie you loaded into it last time, the doors open up. The cyberzombie steps out."

Zerk (OC): "Why are you waiting? Shoot it now!"

Applejack (OC): "Um... yeah. I'm rolling initiative."

Zerk, having gone down an elevator to the basement/car parking area, calls out an important question.


Zerk: "Anyone doing anything nefarious down here?"

GM (As some guy): "No!"

GM (muffled): "Yes! Get me out of the trunk!"

GM (As some guy): "Hush you!"

Zerk: "Person who is being kidnapped says what?"

GM (As some guy): "What?"

Zerk: "I knew it!"

Zerk (OC): "I pull out my gun and run around the corner."

GM (As some guy): "Er.... I mean... Um... can I change my answer?"

Zerk: "...No."

Applejack has just grown some fangs. She's looking at the old teeth in her hand and trying to process what just happened. She calls the only person she can think of.

Applejack: "Zerk, my teeth just fell out! I have fangs now, what's going on?"

Zerk: "Ok, so here's what you do..."

Applejack: "I swear to god, if you tell me about the toothfairy, I'm going to hit you with a wrench!"

Zerk: "No, no, not the toothfairy! If you leave them under your pillow, the great dragon dunkelzahn will come..."

Zerk has come across a man who just went through goblinization. While he's no doctor, he's certainly doing his best impression of one. He just "got off the phone" with a doctor (ie: Applejack), and has come to his professional conclusion.

Zerk: "Greg was it? Congratulations, your condition is permanent. You're now a member of the Ork underground. Don't worry though, it's not so bad. Just look at me!"

Greg, clearly still in massive amounts of pain, does indeed look at Zerk. He's not happy.

Zerk: "By the way, you wouldn't happen to be a member of Humanis, would you?"

Greg looks very uncomfortable, then terrified. Zerk walks off.

Zerk: "Have fun with that!"

Having come across two children with some changes happening to them (cat ears and gills), Applejack suspects that something magical is going on. She calls up the only magical person she knows who is currently around: Zerk.

Applejack: "You, magical! Explain! Manastorm?"

Zerk: "How would I know?? The extent of my capabilities is punching things real hard!"

Applejack is walking through a park when she overhears a lady being concerned about her child in a stroller. Being a kind soul, she walks over to see what the matter is.

Applejack: "Excuse me, is everything alright?"

GM (as lady): "I'm not sure... something's happened to him..."

*Applejack takes a look, she notices that the child has two sets of ears.*

Zerk (OC): Two sets of ears, and I bet that he still won't listen to her when he grows up!"

Morphine and Nova have completely messed with the GMs plan. This was unintentional, and the GM isn't impressed.

GM: "You know, I didn't expect you BOTH to live up to your characters' intelligence of two!"

Nova (OC): "Why? We're in character!"

The leisurely car chase instigated by Nova has now reversed. The driver is now following Nova at a calm pace, and Nova is now trying to make the guy's life difficult. The driver pulls alongside Nova, rolls down his window, and starts a loud conversation with someone on a phone.

GM (as driver): "She's trying to double back! I'm following her, I'll keep you guys updated where she goes!'

Nova (OC): "I roll my eyes and throw a knife at his tire."

Nova is attempting to find a car that was parked outside a warehouse. The driver was just outside the warehouse a few minutes ago. Nova speeds off the premises to find him.

GM: "The white car is parked right around the first corner you take. When he sees you come around the corner, he speeds up. He's not making any evasive maneuvers, in fact, he's obeying all traffic rules, stop signs, and moving at a leisurely 25 mph away in this residential zone. As you try to speed up, he matches your speed, but right as you slow down, he finds some reason to slow down as well."

Nova: "Well, let's see how this goes...."

Nova (OC): "Nova whips her bike around"

Nova: "Tag, you're it!"

Nova and Morphine walk up to a building. When they pulled up, the workers who were all on a smoke break all walked inside. The door they entered was just barely cracked open. No one was responding to anyone when Nova called out. Morphine thinks this is suss. Nova walks in and sees all the furniture rearranged inside with about 20 Trolls hiding behind them.

GM (as trolls): "Just a little further in...."

Morphine: "Yeah, I'm not sure this is a good idea..."

Nova: "Hello? I didn't come here to play hide and seek? I was looking for Dr. Powell?"

GM (as Trolls): "That's it men, let them have it!"

GM (OC): "They open fire"

Nova and Morphine are looking over their character sheets with the GM.

GM: "You guys both have a really low intelligence. Nova, it looks like you don't have really good language skills because of that. You should have a really hard time talking."

Nova (OC): "Yeah, I was designed to be a weapon."

Morphine (OC): "I am apparently able to elucidate myself far better in German. My English is 3, but my German knowsoft is 6...."

Morphine has decided to ask security at a mall to see if they can find some CCTV information on a person he's been tasked to find with Nova. The security guard does *not* like the story that Morphine has spun.

Guard: "Let me get this straight, Mr. Richard Richardson. You're looking for this man."

*He points to a high quality picture from Novatech's employment records. Morphine nods.*

Guard: "A Mr. Powell, I believe. That ring a bell? It sounds like we have a report on file about you selling him some fake matrix equipment, and he came back to get a refund."

Morphine: "Not only was he a thief, but a liar too!"

Guard: "It also looks like we have you on file here. Let me see what it says here... 'Do... not... let... on.... premises'."

Morphine: "Alright, alright, I'll see myself out...."

Morphine is selling his Genuine Legit Products™ as is his custom. Nova has the misfortune to walk into his view.

Morphine: "Miss! Miss! Have you cleaned your cyberjack recently! I've got some amazing cleaning right here! It'll clean out your datajack, leave it nice and shiny and chrome!"

*Nova rolls her intelligence, critical glitch*

Morphine (OC): "Welp, I guess we're about to see what colloidal silver does to a datajack!"

Morphine is riding public transportation. The trolls on the transportation keep nearly stepping on him.

Morphine: "Oi! I'm sitting here! Don't make me come up there and nibble your kneecaps off!"

GM (as troll): "Aww, how cute! Do you want some candy?"

Morphine: "How dare you!! Also... yes."

GM (as troll): "Here you go kid."

Morphine (a dwarf) is trying to sell devil-rat liver oil to suc... er... customers. Unfortunately, mall security appears to be on top of things and swoops in to smash up his stall.

Morphine (a dwarf): "Hey, I'm a troll baby! This is discrimination against trolls!"

GM (as random passersby): "A troll? I mean... he IS ugly enough for it..."

A table full of orks and trolls. A few humans. A single dwarf.

GM (As the leader, Praetor): "The Jackals have something of ours, well... it's theirs, but it'll be ours soon."

Praetor looks seriously at the dwarf.

GM (Praetor): "And that's where you come in. We need YOU to be a distr... er... forward assault team!"

The players are breaking into a castle, and the GM is trying to figure out where they're going to come out. He makes the classic mistake of rolling for what room they enter.

GM: "Alright, looking up, you can see a window opened. You make your way towards it and climb on in. You find yourself in..."
GM: *Rolls Dice and checks map*
GM: A cleaning closet. So the smell of bleach and cleaning chemicals fills the air. And... wait... a second..."
GM: *Reads the section a little more carefully*
GM: "I misread this. You didn't come out into a cleaning closet, you came out into the security center for the entire castle."
Krieger (OC): We failed upwards this whole time!