Jack, the decker, plugged into a data jack and was promptly zapped by some weird black IC. After he came to, Scarlet had a few choice words for him.

Scarlet (IC): "Maybe you should have asked for consent before you went and plugged into it!"

Scarlet (IC): "Alright, take off his jacket."

Frazzle (IC): "I don't like where this is headed."

Scarlet (IC): "Just give me his jacket!"

*Frazzle shrugs, takes off the unconscious ganger's jacket and hands it over*

Scarlet (IC): "Thanks, I was cold."

Frazzle (IC): "I think we need to send these guys a message not to try this again."

Frazzle (OC)" "I shake the one guy awake, tell him to never come after us again, and then break his knee."

GM: "He looks very confused when woken up, and promptly passes out from pain when you break his knee."

Scarlet pulls out a sharpie and starts drawing on his face. Adds in mustaches and writes a warning message on his forehead. Then writes "Kitty was here" on his neck.

Scarlet (IC): "There. That should do it."

*Calls over her hellhound sparky*

Scarlet (IC): "Let's get sparky to pee on him too!"

From time to time, the GM posts things like news articles. Not today...

GM: "A loud man in an even louder suit and orange tie is chewing up the set, shouting the following commercial:

Here at EVO-corp, we're always looking to bring you the best quality equipment for the lowest cost. In this vein, we're proud to present the J-Razor, named so because that famous UCAS hero Jesus WOULD have used this had be actually been from UCAS. And not dead for several thousand years. The J-Razor lets you be just like Jesus... Jesus shaves! And so should you!
For the ladies, we have a special brand of J-Razor just for you called the U-Razor. It's just like the J-Razor, but unlike Jesus, this will touch you where he'd never be willing to! And believe me, he'll be missing out... But everyone else you meet won't!
Buy it now!"

Wheels (OC): "Think we need to get you to stop watching commercials, its affecting your brain"

GM: "I.... haven't been watching any."

Blue (OC): "You can just throw some of Blue's terrorist acts in her face if you want."

Lazarus (IC): "So.... business time I guess. What in the hell were you thinking?"
Blue (IC): "Well, at the time..."
Lazarus (IC): "Which time?"
Blue (IC): "Well... there was the time when Wheels decided we should kill the Mayor..."
Lazarus (IC): "No no no, before that. This has been an extremely long series of fuckups. You have no idea!"
Blue (IC): "Erm... which one are you considering the first?"

Wheels (IC): "Alright, leave your decks at home, and I'll leave my van."
Blue (IC): "The deck... is surgically.... implanted into my head!!"
Wheels (OC): "This is why Wheels will probably be taking a break..."

Gandalf (OC): "You know, about a mile away from where you exploded stuff."
Blue (OC): "Which stuff?"
Gandalf (OC): "Downtown where you exploded stuff."
Wheels (OC): "Again, Which time? We've exploded too many things!"
GM: "I hate to say it... but they are correct."

Wheels (IC): "Ok, fine, you don't want me to bring the van, I won't bring the van! If you want me to come, find me the VTOL semi. I KNOW it's out there! I saw it fly over!"

Wheels (OC): "Well that plan sucked."
Blue (OC): "It looked nice on paper at least."

In the middle of negotiations with a hostage:

GM (As hostage): "I can offer you your life? I have an assassin friend who is probably already here."

Wheels (IC): "Screw this, I think I have bigger issues right now... I just got kicked out of my favorite pub!"

And immediately asks:

Blue (OC): "How many people do I FEEL inside of me?"

Everyone immediately started pondering the many implications of that statement.

After blowing up Mayor Krass's limo:

Wheels (IC): "Isn't someone paying us to kill him?"

Blue (IC): "No."

Wheels (IC): "THEN WHY DID WE GO THROUGH ALL THAT TROUBLE??"

Wheels and Blue are at the courthouse on the trail of some money that's been missing. While doing this, Mayor Krass's limo pulls up.

GM: "You see Mayor Krass's limo pull up."

Wheels (OC): "I shoot it with my mounted gauss rifle." *Rolls dice*

GM: "Alright, you hit the limo, it rocks slightly, but you don't see any real damage. You assume this is because the limo is armored."

Wheels (OC): "Once Blue hops back in the car, I floor it. I then have blue drive while I pilot my explosive carrying drone into Krass's limo."

The worst part about this was that Krass isn't even in the limo. This was his chauffeur showing up to bring him to lunch.

After finding out where Mr. Johnson was being held prisoner, Wheels decides on a great course of action.


Wheels (OC): "Ok, I open the door and toss one of the grenades into the room."

*Everyone takes a moment of stunned silence. GM Starts rolling dice.*

GM: "Give me a moment... I'm trying to figure out just how dead everyone inside is."

In the end, there were two elves who were shredded to a mist, one Mr. Johnson who lost his legs, and a very irritable Gandalf who kept muttering about how this was "5th grade all over again".

Kay, seeing a distracted guard, walks up to him.

GM (As guard): "Another one? Stop right there! I don't know why this area is so popular all of a sudden, but you all must leave!"

Kay (IC): "Excuse me, would you hold this for me? I'll be right back."

*A very confused guard accepts a small oblong package. Kay, Wheels, and Blue dive for cover.


The guard looks momentarily worried and then goes to throw the device away from him. Too late, however, as the grenade goes off in his hand. This turns a 5M diameter area into monofilament spaghetti zone, shredding everyone nearby.

Kay (OC): "Alright... I hand another grenade to my air elemental and ask it to do the same thing to the other guard...."

After finding out that the experimental grenades have a chance to go off when rearmed, Blue decides to play with them....

Blue (IC): "See? These are perfectly safe!"

Blue (OC): "I pull the pin out and reinsert it several times."

*GM rolls several dice*

GM: "On your third attempt, the grenade goes off in your hand. Roll for not taking monofilament to the face."

*Blue rolls way too many dice. Narrowly avoids ending up as fine powder.*

Blue (IC): (To Kay) "See? Perfectly safe!"

Kay (IC): "I'm still not coming anywhere near you, thank you very much."

After finding out that the monofilament grenades can be rearmed, Wheels goes to place the blocking pin back in the pin hole.

*GM rolls some dice*

GM: "Nothing eventful happens when you place the pin back in."

Wheels (OC): "Wait... there's a chance for these to go OFF?"

GM: "Of course!"

Wheels (OC): "You didn't think to WARN me ahead of time??"

GM: "I thought about it... but why would I? Wheels certainly wouldn't have known that."

Upon seeing an unknown oblong object whip out several meters of monofilament wire and shred everything in a 5M diameter...

Gandalf (IC): "We've been carrying HOW many of those things around? 5??"

*Mutters darkly under his breath*

Gandalf (IC): "Goddamn Terrifying..."

After an unusual diner entry method (Large van through window) and a VERY public drone tasering of an *upstanding* citizen of Seattle while onlookers were recording with their commlinks...

GM: "You manage to leave before Knights Errant shows up. While driving down the road, you see several emergency response vehicles rushing the other way. You also se several news vans and Mayor Krass's limo."

Gandalf (OC): "I hack it. Hack on the fly, go big or go home for 3 marks."

Gandalf rolls lots of dice. Ends up using edge to ensure victory*

Gandalf (OC): "Alright. I want it to make a hard right into the nearest building."

GM: "Alright, You see the car veer across three lanes of traffic, barely missing 5 cars. It crashes into a ramshackle building. Pieces of the building fall on top of the car."

Gandalf (IC): "Serves him right... besides, I never voted for him."